Hank

I have a volume of Bukowski I've read three times
and keep next to my bed.
He's one of my favorites.

He's the romanticization of an old drunk
but he's telling you to stop idolizing his demise.
Like a Marilyn Monroe,
or a Kurt Cobain -
we have made synonyms of beauty and pain.

We all want to have the courage to die for love,
but we don't want to get our hands dirty.
We all want to die beautiful
but we don't want to show our petals.
We all want to be great,
but we don't want to give a reason.

So,
I don't think I want to die this year.
I thought I did, but I don't anymore.
I don't want to die at all.
I don't want to grow up.

Today is just a day
to lay in bed.
To read Bukowski, listen to Nirvana,
and remember
"I don't want to be rich,
I just want to be beautiful."